#037

La Grande Bouffe Pt01: Soul Food 

Um dia, num restaurante, fora do espaço e do tempo, 

Serviram-me o amor como dobrada fria. 

Disse delicadamente ao missionário da cozinha 

Que a preferia quente, 

Que a dobrada (e era à moda do Porto) nunca se come fria.

Álvaro de Campos – Poemas

Como quase todas as crianças era esquisitinho com comida quando tenro e pequenito. Depois cresci e tudo mudou. Lembro-me perfeitamente desse dia quando acordei e sentia o meu palato diferente. Nem sei se assim é com o resto das pessoas neste nosso mundo mas de repente gostava de iscas e de peixe cozido, amava favas e não diria nunca mais não a umas ovas. Da noite para o dia (seguinte) havia-me transformado num gourmet (personne qui apprécie le raffinement en matière de boire et de manger).

Daí para a frente foi um regabofe, petit mot que não tenta ocultar a sua descendencia na culinária paysanne. Todo o dinheiro que ganhei nos meus tempos áureos na pop foi gasto em jantaradas e taxis (como não guiava podia beber à vontade). E disso não me arrependo nem um pouco. O Anthony Bourdain escreveu no seu clássico Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly que “your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride”. E como que seguindo uma voz-de-feira-popular lá fui eu dando mais uma voltinha.

Voltaire centrou a acção de uma das suas peças, L’Ecossaise, num café baseado no Café Procope. Talvez inspirado pelo gelado que aí havia comido damos-lhe crédito de ter dito que “gelado é algo de requintado. Que pena que não seja ilegal”. Porque se o fosse decerto faria mais sentido toda a carga de pecado mortal que confunde prazer com gula.

Ao contrário de Mastroianni, Piccoli, Noiret e companhia no clássico de Marco Ferreri consegui passar por esta vida sem “meter os quilos” a que a condição obrigaria. Talvez porque gostava de gastar essas calorias a dançar algumas das músicas que aqui incluo esta semana. 

Canções que decidi escolher para todo o tipo de preferencia de menu: carne e leguminosas, pão e vegetais, ovos, salsichas, frutas variadas e todo o tipo de sobremesas. Tenho de admitir que o peixe ficou de fora, como que em jeito de incluir invisivelmente No Fish Today de August Darnell.

Por vezes até acabei por repetir o motif mas só tendo muito boas razões: se em Father Tomato os brits Talc cantam sobre uma jovem cenoura que ao sair de casa é alvejada por Dustin Hoffman em contrapartida o innuendo é inteiramente sexual em Don’t Touch Me Tomato que aqui aparece na versão de 1955 pelo músico goombay George Symonette. A canção foi supostamente gravada pela primeira vez em 1949 pela cantora June Nelson mas talvez seja a versão de Josephine Baker de 1958 que nos deixa mais aparvalhados com o quão explicito pode ser o conteúdo lírico: Please mister, don’t you touch me tomato / No, don’t touch me tomato / Touch me on me pumpkin, potato / For goodness’ sake, don’t touch me tomato/…. All you do is feel up, feel up/ Ain’t you tired of feel up, feel up / All you do is squeeze up, squeeze up / Ain’t you tired of squeeze up, squeeze up…

Aqui não se deu preferencia nem aos carnívoros nem aos veganos, é tudo uma lista de canções que foram “matando o bicho” da minha predileção musical. Algumas canções inusitadas entremeadas com saborosos e mastigáveis pedaços da história da  pop. Quite a bit of chunky funky morsels I’d say

Não tive como inserir nenhuma faixa do Food Album, compilação desta temática enquanto abordada pelo chef “Weird Al” Yankovik quando em 1993 fez um CD que se ouve como se fosse um Pantagruel do seu louco gosto em fazer cover versions com temáticas alimentares. Um must mas que não chegou a sair da cozinha.

Como que para fazer jus à coisa começo com Southern Fried Chicken, nugget imprescindível do funkateer sulista William Thomas, passo pelo acompanhamento de um Solid Potato Salad por Nat King Cole e pelo afters bem açucarado de um jovem actor Kurt Russel ainda longe de ser o Snake Plissken a cantar Sugar, Sugar.

Já havia passado por I Love Beans pelos Meatmen, banda proveniente do Michigan mas tinha mesmo de acabar com os Splodgenessabounds, mestres totais desse genre cómico-punk que no EP Simon Templer editado em 1980 nos deram o delicioso Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please que ao mesmo tempo nos aponta para o que aí vem para próxima semana dá-nos a ideia de como se comportaria o marido da Maria de Lourdes Modesto num gastropub anglo-saxónico.

Esta semana façam o que as nossas mães nos ensinaram e cozinhem algo de delicioso para quem amam.

#staysafe #musicfortheweekend

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One day, in a restaurant, out of space and time

I was served love as cold tripe

Gingerly I told the kitchen missionary

Of rather having it hot

‘cause entrails (Porto style) are never eaten cold

Álvaro de Campos – Poemas

Like almost all children I had a weird relation with food when young and of tender age. Then I grew up and everything changed. I remember that day perfectly when I woke up and felt my palate different. I don’t even know if that’s the case with the rest of the people in this world of ours, but suddenly I liked liver and boiled fish, I loved broad beans and I would never again say no to roe. Overnight I had become a gourmet (personne qui apprécie le raffinement en matière de boire et de manger). 

From then on it was a time for revelry, all the money I earned in my golden days in pop was spent on dinners and taxis (as I didn’t drive I could eat and drink at will). And I don’t regret any of that one bit. Anthony Bourdain wrote in his classic Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly that “your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride”. And as if following a voice reminiscent of my merry-go-round youth, I did enjoy every single one, bumpy or not… 

Voltaire set one of his plays, L’Ecossaise, in a cafe modeled on Café Procope. Perhaps inspired by the ice cream he enjoyed there, he is credited with having said, “Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.” Because if it were, it would certainly make more sense over questions and doubts about mortal sins that mistake pleasure for gluttony.

Unlike Mastroianni, Piccoli, Noiret & co in Marco Ferreri’s classic, I managed to get through this life of mine without “putting on the pounds” that said condition would require. Maybe because I spent those calories dancing some of the songs that I include here this week. 

Songs I decided to choose for every type of menu preference: meaty and leguminous stuff, bread and vegetables, eggs, sausages, various fruits and all kinds of desserts. I have to admit that fish was left out, as if by way of invisibly including No Fish Today by August Darnell.

Sometimes I even ended up repeating the motif but only for very good reasons: if in Father Tomato brit band Talc sings about a young carrot who, when leaving home, is shot by Dustin Hoffman in return, the innuendo is entirely sexual in Don’t Touch Me Tomato that appears here in the 1955 version by goombay musician George Symonette. The song was supposedly recorded for the first time in 1949 by singer June Nelson but perhaps it is the 1958 version of Josephine Baker that makes us more amazed at how explicit the lyrical content can be: “Please mister, don’t you touch me tomato / No, don’t touch me tomato / Touch me on me pumpkin, potato / For goodness’ sake, don’t touch me tomato/…. All you do is feel up, feel up/ Ain’t you tired of feel up, feel up / All you do is squeeze up, squeeze up / Ain’t you tired of squeeze up, squeeze up…”

Here, neither carnivores nor vegans were given preference, it is all a list of songs that “bug-killed” by my musical predilections. Some unusual songs interspersed with tasty and chewy pieces of pop history. Quite a bit of chunky funky morsels I’d say…

I had no way of inserting any track from the Food Album, a themed compilation by chef “Weird Al” Yankovik when in 1993 he made a CD that one hears as if it was an Escoffier cookbook of his crazy taste in making cover versions with food themes. A must that unfortunately never left the kitchen. 

As if not having to explain anything, I start with Southern Fried Chicken, essential “nugget” from southern funkateer William Thomas, passing by the accompaniment of a Solid Potato Salad by Nat King Cole and the sweet afters of a young actor Kurt Russel, still far from being Snake Plissken singing Sugar, Sugar

I had already gone through I Love Beans by the born and bred Michigonians Meatmen, but I really had to call the whole thing off with Splodgenessabounds, total masters of the comic-punk genre that in the Simon Templer EP published in 1980 gave us the delicious Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please, which not only points to what is coming next week, but gives us the idea of how Maria de Lourdes Modesto’s husband would behave in an anglo-saxon gastropub. 

This week do what our mothers taught us and cook something delicious for those you love.

#staysafe #musicfortheweekend

Bill Thomas & The Fendells – Southern Fried Chicken Pt.1 & 2

Eileen Barton with The New Yorkers ‎– If I Knew You Were Comin’ I’d’ve Baked A Cake

George Symonette – Don’t Touch Me Tomato

Kay Ishiguro – Banana

Nat King Cole – Solid Potato Salad

Lena D’Água – Dou-te Um Doce

The Newbeats – Bread And Butter

Cab Calloway – Everybody Eats When They Come To My House

Beth Carvalho – Goiabada Cascão

Jerry Lee Lewis –  Jambalaya (On the Bayou)

Cibo Matto – Know Your Chicken

Contento – Dale melón

Freddie & The Kinfolk – Mashed Potato, Pop Corn

Lucille Mapp – Mangoes

The JB’s – Pass The Peas

Thomas Dolby – Hot Sauce

LyNsey De Paul – Sugar Me

The Mindbenders – Uncle Joe, the Ice Cream Man

Tommy McCook – Lambs Bread Herb

The Beach Boys – Vegetables

Billie Holiday – Gimmie a Pigfoot (and a Bottle of Beer)

Raymond Scott – Dinner Music For A Pack Of Hungry Cannibals

Virgem Suta – Comer e Calar

Kurt Russell – Sugar, Sugar

The Tempo Toppers feat. Little Richard – Rice, Red Beans And Turnip Greens

Millie – Peaches and Cream

Max Graef & Glenn Astro – Where The Fuck Are My Hard Boiled Eggs!

The Meatmen – I Love Beans

Bow Wow Wow – I Want Candy (7′ Version)

Cameo – Candy

Talc – Father Tomato

Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters – One Meatball

Dee Dee Sharp – Gravy (For My Mashed Potatoes)

Nearfield – Sushi

Kenji Endo – Curry Rice

Tom Waits – Eggs and Sausage

Diana Ross & The Supremes – Buttered Popcorn

Lord Kitchener – Food from the West Indies

The Style Council – Wanted (or Waiter, There’s Some Soup in my Flies)

Splodgenessabounds – Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please

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